Candy, Good Sir?
by Shiku Noberu
Summary: Oneshot. "That's cannibalism." He raised an eyebrow. "That's some dark crap, Neji." Randomness and bonding brought up by bubblegum. Hints of NejiSaku.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Obviously.

Some random oneshot I wanted to make. I lack the humour /cries DON'T KILL ME!

Enjoy.

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**Candy, Good Sir?**

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Humming slightly to herself, Sakura clutched a newly bought package of bubblegum. Her favourite type of candy.

She couldn't survive on whole day without at least 20 strips of gum, and she had run out of them just yesterday. Fortunately, the last strip was consumed right before she went home from the hospital. That served the other nurses and doctors some good, because a gum-derived Sakura was like having a meeting with Hell, except you wouldn't be able to say a single word for she would've already slammed you into a wall.

Yes, you have no chance. Female or male, Sakura's going to hit you through a wall. She doesn't discriminate nor partake in racism.

The last time this happened, holes decorated the hallways of the hospital. At least, the patients no longer had excuses of being derived of fresh air from outside. Sakura had to be detained in a heavily guarded room (courtesy of Tsunade) before one brave staff member went in, throwing a gum pack hurriedly in her direction before crying and screaming in his spot.

Popping a strip delicately into her mouth, Sakura walked right into a marketplace since it was the shortest way home. She was going to relax with a cup of caffè latte (because tea is too mainstream) and a thick-binded medical book right on the couch.

Noticing a mop of chestnut brown hair just round the corner, Sakura ran up to him, trying to surprise him. "Boo!" Sakura exclaimed, pushing the boy slightly. Jumping a bit, he went down to the ground, slamming hard and leaving a small crater. "Oops."

Helping him up, the boy glared at Sakura, scowling as he rubbed his poor nose. "Sakura, what the _hell_ were you trying to do?" Looking up innocently, Sakura pouted. "I was just trying to surprise you, Neji!" Neji crossed his arms and resumed walking, wincing as his nose stung.

"You didn't have to use your inhuman strength to _surprise me_. And not to mention you pushed me!" Neji pointed out loudly. Scratching her chin, Sakura 'tch'ed and fell in step beside him and replied, "I am a mere human. I can't control my power." She laughed abruptly, surprising Neji before receiving a raised eyebrow. Sakura shrugged and brought out the pack of gum, slipping another strip in her mouth.

Noticing the new package of gum in Sakura's hand, Neji jabbed her ribs. "Why do you like bubblegum so much?"

"It's chewy. And I can suck the juices out of it. Not to mention it's really rejuvenating too – keeps your jaw muscles active."

"..."

"Don't you notice how trains all call out 'CHEW CHEW'? They're telling me to chew, dammit!"

"..." Facepalm.

Sakura chewed the gum strip noisily. A vein throbbed in Neji's forehead.

"Sakura..."

"What?" Sakura asked, totally clueless.

"Do you _have _to chew your gum loudly?"

"It's a **gum**_, _Neji. Not bread."

"_Still!_" Neji protested, throwing his hands up.

"You're just jealous Mr. Bubblegum is happily being chewed to segments by me!" Sakura pointed a finger at Neji accusingly.

"Sakura."

"_What_?"

"That didn't even make sense," Neji deadpanned, smiling slightly. Sakura always had this effect on him; he felt free at times with her and his normally emotionless mask would break, letting all his emotions out. Hearing no reply from Sakura, the two continued walking in comfortable silence. Even if they were in a crowded market. And even if someone just spilled some cow intestines all over Neji's shoes.

Sakura finished her gum and took out another strip, chewing it with renewed energy. Scrunching his nose, Neji shoved his hands into his pocket. "How do you not get fat with all that sugar you consume?" Sakura grunted, obviously offended with the question.

Momentary silence.

Laughing maniacally, she asked back, "You think I'm not fat?"

"Er... Yeah?" Neji asked unsurely, not knowing where the conversation was going.

"I'm _chock_ full of carbs, Neji. All the sugar is still here," Sakura said smoothly, patting her stomach for good measure.

Neji raised an eyebrow.

"_Don't_ eat me!" Sakura said out of the blue, wiggling her eyebrows while looking sternly at Neji.

"What makes you think–"

"That's cannibalism." Sakura said with a serious air around her. "That's some dark crap, Neji. So don't."

_What the nut?_ Neji asked himself, disbelief colouring his face. _Did Sakura's sanity finally snap?_

"WHO IN THE NAME OF MOTHER NATURE SAID I WANTED TO EAT YOU?" Neji yelled, jaw unhinging at the ridiculous randomness Sakura had bestowed upon him.

Shrugging, Sakura fished around her pant's pockets and brought out a lollipop. Shoving it in front of Neji's face, she grinned.

"Candy, good sir?"

Yep. Total randomness.


End file.
